Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood Daily » DHD Strike Photo Caption Contest #2

DHD Strike Photo Caption Contest #2

Winner (as well as other best efforts) will be announced on December 25th...

Posted by Nikki Finke on Friday, Dec 14th, 2007 at 12:55PM | Permalink |

« Neither Sleet Nor Snow Nor Hail Nor Rain Golden Globes Screwed By Writers Strike? »

224 Comments »

No gifts this year…I’m on strike against food and the reindeer went on the Schmaltz diet.

Comment by Daniel — December 14, 2007 @ 1:01 pm
“I just lay back and look at the havoc I’ve wreaked.”

Comment by quoting the WGA Executive Director — December 14, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
“Sure, it’s unflattering — plus I’m Jewish! — but it’s warm as hell.”

Comment by Kip Russell — December 14, 2007 @ 1:05 pm
“You think I came up with ‘Ho-Ho-Ho’ on my own?

Comment by Jim Dunn — December 14, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
Well, the list was done by the deadline, but my agent says if I check it even once, it’s crossing the line.

Comment by Bob — December 14, 2007 @ 1:08 pm
“Those ignorant writers will never know there’s a studio exec under this beard… or that my belly is padded with force majeure documents. Ho, ho, ho!”

Comment by Nick — December 14, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
“Speechless #360 - Santa Claus”

Comment by Simon Jester — December 14, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
I ho, ho, hope my little elves in China and Vietnam don’t get any ideas.

Comment by John McMillion — December 14, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
I’m freezing my fu*%ing chestnuts out here!

Comment by BLAIR — December 14, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
The only reasons I’m dressed as Kris Kringle is because I’m a season-ticket holder of the New York Knicks.

Comment by amnoyumous — December 14, 2007 @ 1:11 pm
“The movie fans pout
The TV viewers cry
The Guild will shout
and the producers will know why
Santa Claus is coming to town!”

Comment by David Mello — December 14, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
Sure beats shoveling reindeer Sh*t!

Comment by Nick Laws — December 14, 2007 @ 1:13 pm
“Will ho for food.”

Comment by tom — December 14, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
Oddly enough, my list had three categories this year.
“Naughty”, “Nice”, and “Total Dicks”.

Comment by Alfie — December 14, 2007 @ 1:18 pm
Caption: “I’m NOT Saint Nick Counter”

or

“If I have to wait until the coal in my stocking turns into a diamond, it’s going to be a long, cold winter without a contract.”

or

“Like me, fail negotiations by the AMPTP are a myth.”

Comment by Jake Hollywood — December 14, 2007 @ 1:18 pm
“No Dough, No Ho!”

Comment by Occasional Showrunner — December 14, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Guess who’s getting coal in their stockings!

Comment by Craig Miller — December 14, 2007 @ 1:21 pm
“I still don’t understand why people won’t take our demands seriously… maybe if I put on some clown shoes…”

Comment by tenpercenter — December 14, 2007 @ 1:22 pm
HO, HO, HOw about some residuals?

OR

Merry ChriSTRIKE

Comment by I Am Legend — December 14, 2007 @ 1:24 pm
What do you mean I’m not being compensated with cookies and milk for Christmas gifts ordered over the internet?!

Comment by Jeremy — December 14, 2007 @ 1:24 pm
No Christmas until the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are part of the Guild too!

Comment by Jeff — December 14, 2007 @ 1:26 pm
Who did you think wrote ELF? I’m a writer the other 364 days a year….

Comment by Matt Kaplan — December 14, 2007 @ 1:28 pm
1) No, the Costume Designers didn’t go on strike. Asshole.

2) Worst mall job, ever.

3) Ho, Ho, Ho. No seriously, I see a ho.

4) Seriously, Lady. I’m not Jeff Zucker.

Comment by Matt — December 14, 2007 @ 1:28 pm
I got in the guild with my excellent punch-up on FRED CLAUS.

Comment by skoonix — December 14, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good write.

Comment by Mike Preister — December 14, 2007 @ 1:31 pm
“Yes, Mr. Counter, there is a Santa Claus! Enjoy your stocking full of reindeer shit! Ho! HO! HO!”

Comment by Thomas Cunningham — December 14, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
I wonder how big a bag of coal I should give Nick Counter and the Moguls this Christmas?

Comment by Jessy S. — December 14, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
Me and my reindeer ain’t delivering a freakin’ thing ’cause those brats took the cookies off the table.

Comment by M. Love — December 14, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
Sorry — I can’t come up with anything better than the Ho Ho Ho line by Jim Dunn.

I do expect something with “sitting on my lap” in it….to come up….

Comment by Jed — December 14, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
Thanks to the AMPTP, I can’t even work one day this year.

Comment by mike Preister — December 14, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
I’m really Tim Allen praying that the writer’s strike ends soon so rewrites can start on The Santa Clause 4: The Quickening.

Comment by Sal — December 14, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
“Maybe if I didn’t give so much coal every year to Nick Counter for being a bad kid, we wouldn’t have these problems.”

Comment by Audio Verite — December 14, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
And a bundle of switches and a sack of coal to ALL who should be at the table NOW.

Comment by is this writing? — December 14, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
“As long as they stop sitting on my lap and making erection jokes I’ll give the writer’s whatever deal they want for Christmas”

Comment by Adam — December 14, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
Line…

Comment by J.M.Harrison — December 14, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
Suggestions:

1. AMPTP = Grinch
2. Naughty — AMPTP, Nice - WGA,
3. AMPTP — Coal (check)

I like the Ho Ho Ho one…..

Comment by OK — December 14, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
FU FU FU
From St. Nick C.

Comment by Anonymous — December 14, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
If this gig doesn’t work out I can always go back to playing for ZZ Top.

Comment by Jay Simpson — December 14, 2007 @ 1:51 pm
Counter’s definitely getting a lump in his stocking. And it’s not going to be coal.

Comment by John Q. — December 14, 2007 @ 1:52 pm
Hey, Nick Counter, I got you ultimatum right here!

Comment by Mike — December 14, 2007 @ 1:57 pm
“You think I answer all those letters myself??”

Comment by scott stuckey — December 14, 2007 @ 2:00 pm
Les Moonves makes more than me.

Comment by adVANCED — December 14, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
Santa’s had to make so much coal for the WGA and AMPTP…my elves all died of black lung disease. Merry F*ing Christmas!

Comment by SoonToBeUnemployed — December 14, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
“That other Nick ain’t no Saint in my book!”

Comment by Pete Fanning — December 14, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
Madonn’ mia, where is that coffee cart guy?

Comment by michaekl — December 14, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
All I want for Christmas is 8¢ please!

Comment by P. Lee — December 14, 2007 @ 2:10 pm
“Speechless #360 - Santa Claus”

Comment by Simon Jester

Contest over. We’ve already found the winner.

Comment by done — December 14, 2007 @ 2:10 pm
That “Counter” guy really screwed up the name “Nick.”

Comment by abby b — December 14, 2007 @ 2:17 pm
“No, no, I’m just picketing for an hour and then I have to get to my job at the mall so I can pay the mortgage.”

Comment by JB — December 14, 2007 @ 2:20 pm
F— the cookies, I was residuals.

Comment by greg — December 14, 2007 @ 2:24 pm
Where are MY residuals? They’ve been using me too.

Comment by Rory L. Aronsky — December 14, 2007 @ 2:31 pm
“Fuck Nick Counter!”

Comment by scrivener — December 14, 2007 @ 2:32 pm
“Remember AMPTP, I know who’s been bad. Very, very bad.”

Comment by Rob — December 14, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
I’ll give you animation and reality, I get to keep cookies and milk.

Comment by Josh Weinroth — December 14, 2007 @ 2:39 pm
Would you settle for .3 percent of a piece of coal?

Comment by Stan — December 14, 2007 @ 2:39 pm
Naughty or nice, you know what list you’re on.

Comment by Joya — December 14, 2007 @ 2:40 pm
“If they didn’t like the pencils, just wait until the lumps of coal arrive.”

Speaking of which, just where does one buy a lump of coal these days? I can think of a few places to send one….

Comment by Midwest fan — December 14, 2007 @ 2:40 pm
Sorry AMPTP… I’m not that kinda Ho…

Comment by pb — December 14, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
Hey all you little IATSE boys and girls, I nice shiny new lumps of coal for all of you!!

Comment by Rowdy — December 14, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
Blitzen went fi-core, that bastard!

Comment by Line! — December 14, 2007 @ 2:43 pm
I demand 2.5% of Internet delivery of toys!

Comment by Steve M. Friedman — December 14, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
God. So many… Jewish writers ’round here. Makes me feel like a nun at a porn convention. (Waka waka.)

Comment by BJS — December 14, 2007 @ 2:46 pm
“Ho-Ho-Ho! I’m visiting the writers while the Ghosts of Xmas Past, Present, and Future, are visiting the AMPTP.”

Comment by Furious D — December 14, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
Hey all you little IATSE boys and girls, I have nice shiny new lumps of coal for all of you.

Comment by Rowdy — December 14, 2007 @ 2:51 pm
Nice one Bob!

“Since Liz Taylor got an exemption I think I can too.”

Comment by Jerad — December 14, 2007 @ 2:53 pm
“Where’s red-nosed Nick Counter to guide my sleigh?”

Comment by Heat Miser — December 14, 2007 @ 2:54 pm
“Where’s the sonuvabitch that wrote FRED CLAUS? He better watch out… and he better not cry when I shove this picket sign up his sorry… “

Comment by Sloop John B — December 14, 2007 @ 2:55 pm
Guys, Can I get through please? I got a shitload of coal I need to deliver.

Comment by CrackpotPress — December 14, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
OPENING NOVEMBER 17, 2008:

THE SANTA CLAUSE 4:
INSANITY CLAUSE

STARRING TIM ALLEN

Comment by Steve — December 14, 2007 @ 3:03 pm
“Well, technically I’m a teamster.”

Comment by wutzizname — December 14, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
I should have been a pharmacist.

Comment by this one's for bill — December 14, 2007 @ 3:09 pm
“Three words for you, Counter. Coal. For. Life.”

Comment by Lisa — December 14, 2007 @ 3:14 pm
“LINE!…”

Comment by Murph — December 14, 2007 @ 3:15 pm
Just take the picture. And in the North Pole, it’s not called camel toe. It’s called reindeer toe.

Comment by Chad — December 14, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
“I finally found another job where spoiled brats could piss on me all day.

See you down at Macy’s!”

Comment by CrackpotPress — December 14, 2007 @ 3:19 pm
If I cross the picket line, the elf union will send death threats; Attention: Santa Scab.

Comment by Joe — December 14, 2007 @ 3:19 pm
nothing can beat simon jester’s.

Comment by anonymous — December 14, 2007 @ 3:25 pm
Rudolph and the gang will poop on your condo roof if you continue to be naughty

Comment by G. — December 14, 2007 @ 3:28 pm
Where’d those agency assistants go with my cookies?

Comment by Sol — December 14, 2007 @ 3:29 pm
we know who is getting coal in their stockings this year!!

Comment by K — December 14, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
Hey, amptp, kiss my Blitzen!

Comment by ho-ho-ho-oy vey — December 14, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
“Tom Cruise called and wants his pants back after the strike.”

Comment by Al Melquist — December 14, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
“Support the Writers…we’re getting ho-ho-hosed!”

Comment by Aaron — December 14, 2007 @ 3:46 pm
And here is Santa’s picket sign, and here is Santa’s cock… no I don’t mean Nick Counter.

Comment by K — December 14, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
I’ve got your residuals package right here!

Comment by writer x — December 14, 2007 @ 3:50 pm
“Without writers, I’d be in jail right now! Let’s face it — without a script and the whole “North Pole” story line, I’m just a crazy old white man who likes to run around calling people ‘ho’!”

Comment by Diane — December 14, 2007 @ 3:51 pm
caption: “I knew giving Rupert and Sumner all those lumps of coal would have repercussions.”

Comment by paul — December 14, 2007 @ 3:51 pm
Hey I need writers too, what do you think my list writes itself!

Comment by andrew zepina — December 14, 2007 @ 3:57 pm
60 years later and I have yet to see dollar one in Miracle on 34th Street residuals!

Comment by d castro — December 14, 2007 @ 4:06 pm
Hey, hey… ho, h… ah, fuck it.

Comment by Bridget — December 14, 2007 @ 4:09 pm
I’m just here to support the writers. And by the way, if anybody sees Nick Counter, tell him to grow up and negotiate like a big boy. Until then, Santa’s giving him reindeer shit in his stockings.

Comment by T.V. — December 14, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
Ho, ho… line?!

Comment by Steven — December 14, 2007 @ 4:21 pm
“Carson to Zucker, I’m in. Commencing operation ‘Angry Santa Suit Hiding the Oligarchy’s Lacky Enforcer’…. No, I hired a writer to make that up. Why, what’s an acronym? ”

Comment by J. R. — December 14, 2007 @ 4:24 pm
“Merry Fucking Christmas.”

Comment by Tony Soprano — December 14, 2007 @ 4:25 pm
“Jolly St. Nick Counter under this beard here, spreading Holiday cheer. If you suckers er, writers want to get a raise out of me, put your children on my lap.”

Comment by Stillstriking — December 14, 2007 @ 4:41 pm
Mrs. Claus isn’t the only one screwing me this year.

Comment by Will S. — December 14, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
Santa suit: $69.99
Fake beard: $24.99
Miracles on 34th Street: $0

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s residuals.

Comment by tvstudioasst — December 14, 2007 @ 4:54 pm
look, i’m wearing a diaper

Comment by andrew — December 14, 2007 @ 4:55 pm
I hope that this beard stays on or I’m one dead producer

Comment by Brad — December 14, 2007 @ 4:59 pm
“This is Moonves to headquarters. Am behind enemy lines. Repeat: the fat man has landed.”

Comment by Hannah Shakespeare — December 14, 2007 @ 5:00 pm
“I’m just doing my part to help, so that the children will not go without this year! Plus I have a script in development at Paramount…”

Comment by uncle vanya — December 14, 2007 @ 5:08 pm
“Do you think Nikki Finke will make this into a photo caption contest or do I have to give a more ironic pose?”

Comment by Elmer Green — December 14, 2007 @ 5:10 pm
“I’m just doing my part to help, so that the children won’t go without this year! Plus, I have a script in development at Paramount…”

Comment by uncleloki — December 14, 2007 @ 5:11 pm
Put the Saint back in Nick Counter!

Comment by WGA4LIFE — December 14, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
Come on, everyone knows there’s no such thing as Nick Counter.

Comment by Anonymous — December 14, 2007 @ 5:20 pm
I want a New Economic Partnership. How ’bout you pay me for the gifts?

Comment by S. — December 14, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
Deck the halls with fair compensation for new media and DVD sales.

Comment by Max — December 14, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
I’m happy to HO HO HO for them…as long as they PAY me what’s fair!

Comment by Tommy — December 14, 2007 @ 5:25 pm
Hey, Conan, want to compare strike beards?

Comment by Oh Puh-lease — December 14, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
I’ll walk the blvd and I’ll HO HO HO for them, as long as they pay me what’s fair.

Comment by JPD — December 14, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
Okay, A.M.P.T.P., you’ve had your fun.
Now how ’bout letting go off my sack?

Comment by Mark — December 14, 2007 @ 5:39 pm
What are the chances DHD caught me on the picket line again!?

- Tom Wellington

help striking writers!

http://strikingwriter.blogspot.com/

Comment by striking writer — December 14, 2007 @ 5:40 pm
I remember when they used to say no one would buy presents on the internet. 2007 Online Christmas retail sales are expected to be $33 billion.

They are wrong again.

Comment by Jane — December 14, 2007 @ 5:44 pm
I’d be over there with the rest of them if it didn’t bring me within 500 ft. of a day care center.

Comment by RSOGA president — December 14, 2007 @ 5:48 pm
suck my d**k!
on strike with st. nick!

Comment by Duane McPherson — December 14, 2007 @ 5:55 pm
“Yeah, I’m in the guild! Goddamn AMPTP! My deal for the “CSI: North Pole” pilot I wrote is all fucked up now!”

Comment by Thomas Cunningham — December 14, 2007 @ 5:57 pm
“I have toys in my pockets, they have tricks up their sleeves.”

Comment by charlotte — December 14, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
“This looked better on paper.”

Comment by ThisLookedBetterOnPaper — December 14, 2007 @ 6:05 pm
Who you calling a ho?

Comment by Meg J. — December 14, 2007 @ 6:08 pm
“Can I still use ‘Ho, Ho, Ho?’” Anybody know who reps the guy who wrote that?

Comment by recovering writer — December 14, 2007 @ 6:13 pm
Decisions, decisions –
Bituminous or Anthracite
coal for Nick Counter…

Comment by Robin Tice — December 14, 2007 @ 6:18 pm
Les re-cast me after the pilot.

Comment by TV Writer — December 14, 2007 @ 6:21 pm
“Guess who’s NOT coming to your house this year! Don’t blame me, the AMPTP said you were being bad.”

Comment by actorinsupport — December 14, 2007 @ 6:24 pm
Ho Ho Ho…ly crap we’re getting ripped off.

Comment by Tyler — December 14, 2007 @ 6:41 pm
Caption: “Internet? We’re the AMPTP, we don’t know nuthin’ ’bout no internet.”

or maybe they do:

AMPTP Discovers a Cash Cow, aka “The Internet”

Comment by jake Hollywood — December 14, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
“Eat my sweaty butthole!”

Comment by creeper — December 14, 2007 @ 7:07 pm
During the other eleven months of the year, I fax in filthy monologue jokes to Kimmel.

Comment by John Q. — December 14, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
I have a lump of coal for all the studio executives.

I have a special gift for Dawn Tarnofsky of the CW, for telling the writers, “I really don’t care. My kids are going to have presents for Christmas, theirs aren’t.” Her lump of coal will be on fire.

Comment by Steve S — December 14, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
All I want for Christmas is my 2 cents more!

Comment by LWL — December 14, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
Good Nick here, freezing my bells off for the boys and girls who’ve been good this year. Sounds a little rough? Wait to you see what happens to the Bad Nick.

Comment by PJ - Writer — December 14, 2007 @ 7:25 pm
I get $250 regardless of how many homes I deliver to. Unless it’s an appearance at the mall. That’s considered promotional… for that, I get squat!

Comment by Mark — December 14, 2007 @ 7:35 pm
I’m bringing lumps of coal to any late-night hosts who go back to work. No exemptions for late-night!

Comment by Angry scribe — December 14, 2007 @ 7:40 pm
“AMPTP, show me a decent streaming media deal and I’ll show you my North Pole.”

or

‘Twas the Night They Cancelled Christmas: A Story Written by the AMPTP

Comment by Aaron — December 14, 2007 @ 7:55 pm
[b]MERRY CHRISTMAS![/b]

How did the blogger get 12,000 writers to work for free?

Called her project a contest.

Ho-Ho-Ho

Let’s all be working together next year.

Comment by Cruiser — December 14, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
If this isn’t settled by December 31st it’s gonna be real, real bad for everybody. I’ll have to show up dressed as the “2008 New Year’s Baby”. And, writer, director, actor, producer or Teamster, NOBODY wants to see that.

Comment by Larry Vigus a SAG Santa — December 14, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
“Thomas Nast made me what I am today, and all he got was a one-time payment from Harper’s.”

“F yes I’m a Teamster.”

“I’m here for the elves.”

Comment by a spouse — December 14, 2007 @ 8:07 pm
“I’m just here to meet Tina Fey.”

Comment by Chad — December 14, 2007 @ 8:09 pm
Hmm… according to the fine print in the AMPTP residual New Media payment plan – if I squeeze a lump of coal between my butt cheeks for ten thousand years it’ll become a diamond…

Comment by pb — December 14, 2007 @ 8:19 pm
It starts with “Ho, Ho, Ho…”

Comment by MIKE MARTINEAU — December 14, 2007 @ 8:21 pm
(Sung to the tune of “Hokey Pokey”)

They want the scabs right in
They want the writers out
They walked away from the table with a smirk and a shout
They said take it all off, or we won’t stay
Now, the NRLB will have something to say!

Comment by Inkslinger — December 14, 2007 @ 8:32 pm
How much coal am I putting in their stockings? I got West Virginia on line 8.

Comment by mla28 — December 14, 2007 @ 8:51 pm
Saint Nick Counter my ass!

Comment by shaun — December 14, 2007 @ 9:21 pm
Hey hey, Ho Ho
Guess who’s gettin’ a stocking full of coal

Comment by Jenn — December 14, 2007 @ 9:37 pm
“Will no longer work for milk and cookies!”

Comment by hohoschmo — December 14, 2007 @ 9:41 pm
“The Santa Clause’ Christmas has ended for the studios! No Writer shall do promotional work for promotional content for free or gifts.”

Comment by Al Melquist — December 14, 2007 @ 9:51 pm
First the disrespect and now Fred Claus! Fuck the AMPTP!

Comment by Mike Thomas — December 14, 2007 @ 9:53 pm
Whoever the hell Bob is, he’s a funny man.

Comment by Watcher — December 14, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
POINTS?…NO COUNTER POINTS! ST. NICK, YOU IGNORANT SLUT!

Comment by Veteran AgentrVETERAN AGENTTERAN AGENT — December 14, 2007 @ 10:27 pm
My name is Nicholas Counter and I’m auditioning for my next gig.

Comment by Irish — December 14, 2007 @ 10:33 pm
If the AMPTP negotiators will sit on my lap, I’d like to discuss contract sticking points.

Comment by Inspector Clause-ow — December 14, 2007 @ 10:36 pm
Is that Billy Bob Thorn..? Nope it’s just another Bad Santa wannabe.

Comment by Script Maniac — December 14, 2007 @ 10:37 pm
#1 on my wishlist — the AMPTP would take the stick out of their a**!

Comment by Paul — December 14, 2007 @ 11:03 pm
It’s effin June, can I at least take off the beard?!

Comment by Tvinsider — December 14, 2007 @ 11:06 pm
Nikki Finke’s great! (did I win?)

Comment by N-fan — December 14, 2007 @ 11:08 pm
“I was just an elf when this strike started”

Comment by Brady Westwater — December 14, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
Hey Counter, I got some mistletoe for you — right here. (see pointing)

Comment by TVinsider — December 14, 2007 @ 11:14 pm
They’d better settle this soon, because Santa has GOTS to have his “Gossip Girl”.

Comment by John Q. — December 14, 2007 @ 11:21 pm
First Shantaram shuts down, now The Santa Claus 3D is in the shitter.

Comment by long boring daze — December 14, 2007 @ 11:22 pm
“This worked better on the page.”

Comment by ThisLookedBetteronPaper — December 14, 2007 @ 11:22 pm
“Finally, a mediator both sides can agree on!”

Comment by David — December 14, 2007 @ 11:24 pm
I wonder if the Easter Bunny is gonna crash this party…

Comment by Wanna-Writer-Be — December 14, 2007 @ 11:36 pm
“Next year in Jerusalem.”

Comment by Marc — December 14, 2007 @ 11:55 pm
“Bill Lawrence just asked me for twenty bucks.”

Comment by Marc — December 14, 2007 @ 11:56 pm
I was hoping that if I held this sign I wouldn’t be considered below the line.

Comment by Hooper — December 15, 2007 @ 12:48 am
I’m one of those guys who spends half the year growing his beard out so that once winter roles around I can play santa clause on a bunch of crappy sitcom holiday specials. I HAVE A FAMILY TO FEED…

Comment by aNDREW — December 15, 2007 @ 1:00 am
“…So I say ‘Look, Nick, you’ve been a total douche all year and there’s nothing you can do to get on the NICE list. Now would you mind putting your pants back on? I’m starting to get uncomfortable.’”

Comment by MJO — December 15, 2007 @ 1:12 am
I just passed another sidewalk santa, only he was actually collecting money.

or

Oh fuck. The fetish group picket was yesterday…

Comment by Michael — December 15, 2007 @ 1:42 am
See where I’m pointing? You’d think I’d be a stress eater, but I’ve actually gone DOWN 2 belt notches since Novemer 5th.

Comment by Michael — December 15, 2007 @ 2:08 am
“…and so I told him, sweetheart, just because there’s still a strike, it doesn’t mean there really isn’t a Bryan Lourd.”

Comment by Shaybe R. — December 15, 2007 @ 2:11 am
“Don’t make me come back here in June. I don’t do Crocs or shorts.”

Comment by Audio Verite — December 15, 2007 @ 3:40 am
blank blank blank
blank blank balnk
blank blank blank blank blank
blank blank blank -bl blank blank blank
blank blank blank blank blank

Comment by Patrick Hasburgh — December 15, 2007 @ 4:27 am
I’d have my guys with me, but they’re all picketing New Line for increased residuals on “Elf”!

Comment by Alexander Chow-Stuart — December 15, 2007 @ 4:36 am
Too fat to ho’,
Too poor to write!

Comment by R.S. — December 15, 2007 @ 6:39 am
“Hey, Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho, Ho! Scabs like Carson get a lump of coal!”

Comment by Warren Piece — December 15, 2007 @ 7:08 am
What the? Didn’t everybody else get the email saying today is “Dress as Santa Day.”
I guess tomorrow’s “Wet T-Shirt” day was a joke too. God, I hate writers with too much time…

Comment by Anonymous — December 15, 2007 @ 8:27 am
AMPTP - Naughty.

Comment by Jack — December 15, 2007 @ 8:31 am
Hey, from looking at you buff hard bodies walking the line… one of you oughta be able to hook me up with some ‘roids…

Comment by pb — December 15, 2007 @ 8:33 am
“Blitzen just sold his memoir! These guys here aren’t working. Maybe I can find someone who wants to adapt it on spec.”

Comment by Strike, Schmike — December 15, 2007 @ 8:38 am
“F*@k Nick Counter.”

Comment by scrivener — December 15, 2007 @ 8:51 am
Chernin’s chimney? Sure, it’s OK. Personally, I find
platinum a bit cold.

Comment by davemad — December 15, 2007 @ 9:25 am
In the twelfth week of Strikemas,
Nick Counter sent to me …

Twelve horns a-honking,
Eleven scabbers scabbing,
Ten ten percenters,
Nine Chernins churning,
Eight force majeurings,
Seven Speechless spoofings,
Six ultimatums…

Five thousand out of shape writers still walking strong!

Point Four percentage points,
Free content streaming,
Thirty Two pages of rollbacks,
And a pitch to Haggis for Bond 23!

Comment by Mike — December 15, 2007 @ 9:44 am
Which way to the David Milch lecture?

Comment by Anonymous — December 15, 2007 @ 10:30 am
DONNERRRRR! Get off of Tina Fey’s leg!

Comment by Anonymous — December 15, 2007 @ 11:47 am
Where the hell will I get so much coal.

Comment by Paul Plannette — December 15, 2007 @ 11:47 am
Hey, Has anyone seen Jay Kogen? He told me if I put this on and waited here he’d be right back in a Rudolph suit and tell me some funny stories.

Comment by Anonymous — December 15, 2007 @ 11:48 am
“Carson to Zucker, I’m in. Commencing operation ‘Angry Santa Suit Hiding the Oligarchy’s Lacky Enforcer’……. No, I hired a writer to make that up. Why? What’s an acronym? ”

Comment by J — December 15, 2007 @ 12:12 pm
I’m also against
REMAKES!!

Comment by Tara — December 15, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
Hey…..Where in the hell are the other suits?

Comment by ceeb — December 15, 2007 @ 1:46 pm
Santa: Guess which kids are getting the Chinese Toys”

Comment by Agent Provocateur — December 15, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
Santa: “Do I really need to tell you who’s been bad?”

Comment by Agent Provocateur — December 15, 2007 @ 3:46 pm
You better not write,
You better not scab,
You better not gripe,
And I’m telling you why,
Santa Claus is walking the line.

Comment by Jacquesrock — December 15, 2007 @ 4:49 pm
“MO!MO!MO! Merry MOguls!”

Comment by good times — December 15, 2007 @ 5:28 pm
“No… I’m not Brian Walton looking for a job…

I’m Carson Daly — Heard any good jokes?”

Comment by Lucien — December 15, 2007 @ 5:38 pm
Jingle Bells
Santa shills…

Comment by flying squirrel — December 15, 2007 @ 6:43 pm
“MO! MO! MO! Merry MOguls!”

Comment by good times — December 15, 2007 @ 10:55 pm
Northpole has melted.
Sleigh was repo’d.
No writers to answer Santa letters.
And my agent took the last 10%.
Hello 2008.

Comment by DR — December 16, 2007 @ 2:57 am
Strike? I just want a refund for “Fred Claus”!

Comment by agent Provocateur — December 16, 2007 @ 7:00 am
“Now, Counter! now, Chernin! now both of the Jeffreys!/ On, Redstone! on, Murdoch! on, Iger and Leslie!/ Jump to petty name-calling! To back channels and bribes!/ To keep cash away! cash away! from union scribes!”

Comment by Joe B. — December 16, 2007 @ 9:18 am
Who do you think wrote “Ho, Ho, Ho”?

Comment by dante writer — December 16, 2007 @ 10:10 am
I’m dreaming of a Write Christmas

Comment by MM — December 16, 2007 @ 1:18 pm
Now Myer, now Moonves, now Iger, now Chernin!
On Grey, on Sloan, Zucker and Lynton!
Back to the table, stop trying to stall,
Let’s make a deal now that benefits all!

Comment by Gibson Rae — December 16, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
No coal this year, just unsharpened pencils.

Comment by Anonymous — December 17, 2007 @ 12:32 am
“Saint” Nick, enjoy it while you can– Saint Patric’s day is coming!

Comment by Aaron — December 17, 2007 @ 1:24 am
I will not Ho for the AMPTP.

Comment by dante writer — December 17, 2007 @ 7:28 am
Nick Counter eats reindeer.

Comment by frank lake — December 17, 2007 @ 7:31 am
Yeah, Gavin Palone sent me here to spy on the writers and to get his name into Nikki Finke’s caption contest…

Comment by dominick z. — December 17, 2007 @ 7:49 am
“I can’t make a list, so I won’t check it twice!”
(The naughtys are of the hook this year)

Comment by Rob R. Schicken — December 17, 2007 @ 8:44 am
“Santa Strike Clause”

Comment by Rob R Schecken — December 17, 2007 @ 8:48 am
Wait, aren’t most writers Jewish? I’m so hitting up Starbucks now…

Comment by Scott — December 17, 2007 @ 10:45 am
What do I do with all these FINAL DRAFT presents?

Comment by The King — December 17, 2007 @ 10:47 am
Jeff Zucker said I skewed too old. He replaced me with John Stamos.

Comment by TV Writer — December 17, 2007 @ 8:26 pm
“Maybe you studio heads should re-wrap last year’s Christmas and Hanuka presents and see how the kids like reruns.”

Comment by Jim abell — December 18, 2007 @ 4:49 am
“Deck The Hall’s With Fair Shares For All” Ho Ho Hope You Guyz Win Big !

I am the man in the Santa Suit and I have a great sense of humor , I want to wish EVERYBODY a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year . Angelo Santos Jr. Brooklyn NY

Comment by Angelo Santos — December 18, 2007 @ 5:45 am
“$Ho $Ho $Ho us writers the money, AMPTP. I have PLENTY of coal…”

Comment by Chaddogg — December 18, 2007 @ 8:42 am
Merry Hollywood!! You are so addicted to Nikki Finke. It’s Christmas Day and you’re looking for updates??!! Go eat some turkey, play with your kids, kiss your spouse…then check back tomorrow for some more Ho, Ho, Hope!

Comment by jolly g. — December 18, 2007 @ 12:39 pm
” If The Strike Doesn’t Get Over FAST I’ll have to do this Forever “

Comment by Saurabh Jaiswal — December 19, 2007 @ 6:10 am
After my strike shift, I gotta go to work at the mall…

Comment by dominick z. — December 19, 2007 @ 8:24 am
Hey now… where’s that babe that’s going around groping Santas when you really need her…

Comment by pb — December 19, 2007 @ 10:09 am
Yeah, I got the reindeer picketing Fox, the elves over at Disney and I sent Rudolph over to Misfit Island to have a sitdown with Nick Counter and the AMPTP…

Comment by dante writer — December 19, 2007 @ 8:43 pm
If you didn’t get what you wanted, blame Nick Counter… he grounded my sleigh, raided my sack and force majeured my reindeer.

Comment by jolly g — December 22, 2007 @ 9:19 am
I invited the AMPTP negotiators to Christmas dinner, but they walked away from the table… and took the all the pie with them.

Comment by dominck z. — December 22, 2007 @ 9:22 am
Yeah, Verrone said he’d put on a diaper and be the New Year’s Baby, Carlton Cruse has dibs on the Groundhog (with the WGA shadowing him), Greg Daniels said he’d be St. Pat (and drive the snakes out of Hollywood), Shonda Rhimes is down for the Easter Bunny (and any offspring)…everyone else will be busy working for Nikki Finke’s new internet network.

Comment by gmd — December 23, 2007 @ 5:22 pm
“You’re a Scab if you fill in this white bubble above me. Even Nikki Finke wants us writers to work for free on her add supported site!”

Comment by A — December 24, 2007 @ 7:43 am
Can we get the three wise men involved in this thing?

Comment by mary — December 24, 2007 @ 9:48 am

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