Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood Daily » AMPTP Flacks Provide More Amusement

AMPTP Flacks Provide More Amusement

The AMPTP PR machine is rusting from flopsweat. First, it gave its AMPTP.org website an extreme makeover after a coupla comedy writers spoofed the old one (see AMPTP.com.) I have no doubt that John Aboud and Michael Colton and their satirical team are working on AMPTP.com 2.0 as we speak. That said, the latest AMPTP news release, issued in response to the WGA filing unfair labor practice charges against the media companies, misquotes that "old lawyers' adage: When the facts are on your side, argue the facts. When the law is on your side, argue the law. And when you don't have either the law or the facts on your side, you pound the table." The actual saying is “When the law is against you, pound the facts, when the facts are against you, pound the law, and when they’re both against you, pound the table”. For a bunch of Democrats, the flackery of Fabiani & Lehane sure are committing a heck of a lot of Bushisms.

Posted by Nikki Finke on Thursday, Dec 13th, 2007 at 08:22PM | Permalink |

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38 Comments »

nikki, i’m pretty sure those guys purposely mangled that saying to make it serve their purpose. they wanted to be able to infer that the facts are on their side, which the actual quote doesn’t do very well.

Comment by jimmy — December 13, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
Aren’t F and L working for one-third their usual fee - get what you pay for Huh?
Semper Fi

Comment by Semper Fi — December 13, 2007 @ 8:31 pm
All of this could not be more perfect. The same people who tried to call our leadership incompetent.

Now, Companies? Are you watching? These are the folks your trust for the shareholders future is in?

Comment by Ed WGA — December 13, 2007 @ 8:42 pm
Anyone know how much the AMPTP is paying to employ the esteemed consulting firm of Fib & Lie.

Comment by HIllary Must Denounce them or lose labor support — December 13, 2007 @ 8:43 pm
Go to the AMPTP website. It is so full of lies and half-truths and outright bullshit that I dare you to read the whole page without gagging.

Apparently, the AMPTP flacks HAVE found some talented fiction writers who will still agree to work for them.

Comment by aotherWGAmember — December 13, 2007 @ 8:54 pm
Oooo…AMPTP.com 2.0 — I’m already laughing. And yey for brokeback PR company. They must be exhausted from all the b&llsh*t they’ve had to deflect over the last few weeks.

Comment by Lisa — December 13, 2007 @ 8:54 pm
Please, please, please somebody hack that obnoxious AMPTP website!

Comment by Aloysius SnufAloysius SnuffleupagusAloyAloysius Snuffleupagus — December 13, 2007 @ 8:56 pm
Check out the AMPTP’s kewl gnu “brushed steel” website. I haven’t seen anything so current since 1999. Good job, AMPTP– you really have us on the ropes now! This sleek silver interface (still looks like clipart) is going to do tons for your PR value. Is it a coincidence that this change came about right after the WGA dropped the NLRB bomb? If so, great way to spin it. No one will be talking about how you f’d that up when you have a new silver background! Seriously, how long are you going to leave that lame press release up about “pounding fists?” It’s like your PR guys are begging to get fired.

Comment by ww — December 13, 2007 @ 9:01 pm
More importantly, who is the audience for this kind of press release?

The general public? Who HATE lawyers? What did they think they would accomplish?

It’s not just a matter of execution — the whole concept is wrong.

Granted, we’re on strike, and we really shouldn’t help the other side, but this is bigger than a labor dispute. PR or not, these people are fellow WRITERS. Even more, they are HUMAN BEINGS — clearly in over their heads and in quite a bit of mental distress.

One or two WGA writers should offer their services to the AMPTP.

It’s the holiday season. It’s the right thing to do.

Comment by hoth — December 13, 2007 @ 9:02 pm
The AMPTP.org just changed the design and look of their site so as not to confuse it with the new parody site. I’m just saying — in case someone out there is interested in keeping things updated.

Comment by fingerscrossed — December 13, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
Hillary, who asked:
Anyone know how much the AMPTP is paying to employ the esteemed consulting firm of Fib & Lie.

Well, yes, I have it on pretty good authority the firm is being paid 100K/month, which will have the average entertainment publicist wishing they’d chosen politics for a career in flackery.

Comment by zagyzebra — December 13, 2007 @ 9:23 pm
Ha ha!

Of COURSE they’d get it wrong… they have nobody educated to WRITE for them :o)

Comment by bodnotbod — December 13, 2007 @ 9:23 pm
To fingerscrossed:

The AMPTP changed their site immediately following the NLRB fiasco. The parody website debuted days ago…

Comment by ww — December 13, 2007 @ 9:28 pm
Wow. As a Democrat, I’m starting to understand why we haven’t been able to win back the White House.

Comment by just another writer — December 13, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
I’m glad everyone feels so great bringing down the studios. Can I ask what happens once you do bring them down? Do you get more jobs? A greater payday on less scripts than you had before? Do all of you suddenly find the pot of gold? Do you run to YouTube and Google (trust me, they’ll pay even less then the reality producers you hate so much). Don’t you see that technology companies value you even less than the studios? Good luck kids. Feels good now…but even in victory, you’ll be left with less than you had before.

Comment by Glad to be not in the business — December 13, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
Keep spinning your wheels on the ice, AMPTP. You’re not going to get anywhere. Don’t you just love this season?

Comment by Caitlin — December 13, 2007 @ 9:31 pm
The AMPTP is making Dana Perrino look like Johnny Cochrane (RIP), in terms of competence that is.Don’t these geniuses know that falsehoods follow one into the afterlife.

I know, there’s no evidence of it, but its still food for thought.

Comment by LMFAO — December 13, 2007 @ 9:34 pm
So all the AMPTP really did was change the background color of amptp.org? Whoa. They really showed us! Now THAT will be hard to parody. What’s next? Racing stripes? Or… maybe they’ll change the typeface! Is everyone laughing as hard as I am at their pathetic incompetence? It keeps getting better!

Comment by WGAE Member — December 13, 2007 @ 9:46 pm
Nice new website, AMPTP! Looks kinda like the inside of a prison cell.

Comment by nice — December 13, 2007 @ 9:49 pm
Come on Nikki, you obviously didn’t know how the saying went EITHER if it took you four hours from your original post to call them out on it.

Comment by speechless — December 13, 2007 @ 9:51 pm
“…but even in victory, you’ll be left with less than you had before.”

Man, I wish you’d tell that to all the people who are calling us greedy! People seem to think we’re trying to get filthy rich off new media. No, we’re simply trying not to go under, not to make so much less than we do now that we cannot remain full-time writers. It’s true, we may very much end up with less. But if we end up with enough to keep this career that I love viable, well, then, I’ll consider that a victory. Thanks for reminding us how humble this fight really is.

Now let’s go fight it.

Comment by (Not) Working Writer — December 13, 2007 @ 10:07 pm
UNCOVERED:

NEW FALL LINE UP 2008

The networks and studios are not phased by the lack of new programming for the ‘08 fall TV season. In fact, they’ve taken matters into their own hands and cobbled together what they call, “…a cutting edge fall line up that will no doubt have the advertisers dancing in the aisles at this year’s upfronts.”

TAKE A LOOK…

–Life on the streets in L.A. is unpredictable, intense and often tragic. That’s why CBS comes out swinging with the hot new series, “JAMMED.” Each week viewers will get to see this action-”jammed” hour-long crime drama that’s been culled from the security/traffic-cam outside CBS’s Television City Studios on Fairfax and Beverly. I don’t want to give away too much but in the pilot episode they wake a homeless guy and ask him to move on!

–Reality TV is alive and well and living in the new ABC series “HAPPY MONKEY FUN TIME.” Teamwork, endurance and intelligence are the keys to survival for a truckload of monkeys who get dumped into a 9 foot deep pit on the Warner Brothers backlot. After six months of deprivation and starvation, which chimp will rise victorious? Doesn’t matter, they’re monkeys and it’ll be great.

–CBS will borrow the boutique, award-winning series DEXTER from Showtime and they’ll be snatching up a hearty new primetime audience with edited-for-family episodes. You’ll get to “re-visit” the pilot and see Dexter confront a priest/child-killer who got away with murder. He kidnaps him, ties him to a tree deep in the woods and then gives him a stern talking-to. Gripping? Kind of.

–In an effort to keep fans committed to LOST, ABC will re-run original episodes of GILLIGAN’S ISLAND. With island-adventure this good, it may take weeks before the viewers even know the difference.

–NBC is gonna “hang-ten” on their wave of games show success with their new brain-burner, “DEAD WRONG.” Hosted by TV’s Carson Daly, a contestant is shot backstage and then our all-star panel has to guess who pulled the trigger. When he or she falls dead — time’s up!

–History has told the networks that if a show is too sophisticated it’ll likely fail. That’s why this season we are more than happy to present “SHINY!” Each week you’ll get to see a bright, shiny object jangled on camera and into your homes, an hour at a time, three hours a week. Test audiences have found the surprise twist from keys to a pen knife “dizzying.”

Thanks to all our advertisers and we look forward to your “economic partnership” with us.

Always,

Studios/Networks
(writer-free since November ‘07)

Comment by TVinsider — December 13, 2007 @ 10:39 pm
I couldn’t be more pleased that the WGA is doing what I suggested five weeks ago, which is to stop acting like our business is somehow “Special” and not subject to the same federal laws as any other business.

I find it even further hilarious that these so-called PR geniuses Fabio and Labia (sp?) would follow up the GIANT error of allowing their clients to publish a press release that was essentially a CONFESSION of how they are guilty of being in violation of federal law by refusing to negotiate with striking workers, by THEN allowing them to issue a press release implying that the AMPTP is the body that decides what is, and is not, against Federal law.

The AMPTP is insinuating that the law is not on the side of the WGA, and that is why the WGA is “pounding the table.”

Who died and made the AMPTP the experts on what is, or isn’t against Federal labor law?

This self-proclaimed labor law expertise of the AMPTP (which is right up there with their web savvy. Note to Moguls: spend the extra $9 to buy .com and . net next time!) should go over great with the Federal judge who will adjudicate this complaint, and will be an even bigger delight to the FCC at upcoming hearings. Judges love being told they know nothing about the law, it’s like, their favorite thing! Federal regulatory commissions love it too.

This act where AMPTP tells lawmakers and federal regulators what is and isn’t legal (in their big fat opinion) may be so entertaining that it will find itself in front of some nice congressional committees. After all, ambitious Senators will have no interest in calling entertainment luminaries, writers, directors and even actors to come testify as to the shady accounting practices of studios and networks. Surely politicians will have no interest in hogging the spotlight and getting press and photo ops by befriending famous Hollywood artists.

Meanwhile, I know the AMPTP says that the internet is a big scary thing that nobody can possibly use to generate income (though a recent survey shows that people under fifty now spend MORE time watching video on the internet than they do watching TV) but they really should check out a little thing called “Google”.

Google is really awesome for checking out the correct verbiage of old lawyer’s adages and the like. Just type in the phrase as you remember it, and Google will rather quickly show you that you have it wrong.

Unless they quoted it wrong on purpose to avoid paying some kind of old adage residuals.

Comment by WGA Writer with Business Sense — December 13, 2007 @ 11:05 pm
BTW, has it not occured to anyone that the DGA might not undercut the writers, but, in putting out all this verbiage of having so intensely studied the issue (and having paid tons of money for outside experts who know everything there is to know about the monetary potential of the internet) the directors might, in fact, be implying in today’s statement that they actually are going to ask for:

MORE.

What if the DGA demands MORE than the WGA is asking for?

Wouldn’t that be the shocker of all time for the AMPTP?

Does the AMPTP seriously believe that directors (who are ALL ABOUT technology, and new media) are going to accept something like $250 for a residual on an hour of network TV they have directed once the internet is the sole medium of distributing series programming?

Really? Because, directors don’t have high self-esteem? Directors don’t understand the potential of new technologies? Directors don’t like money?

Has anyone at the AMPTP met any directors?

Comment by wga Writer with Business Sense — December 13, 2007 @ 11:20 pm
TO Mr. WGA Writer With Business Sense: “Does the AMPTP seriously believe that directors (who are ALL ABOUT technology, and new media) are going to accept something like $250 for a residual on an hour of network TV they have directed once the internet is the sole medium of distributing series programming?”

Unfortunately, the DGA is not made up of a majority of directors. Thus, neither does a majority of their membership even GET residuals (directly). Ergo a majority of their membership doesn’t give a CRAP about the residual issue or the $250 figure that’s been offered. So you missed it with your comment. Well, actually almost.

Your larger point IS right, however. The DGA does have a stake. The majority of the DGA membership may not care about residuals, but they care about minimum pay and pension & health contributions. And if another more important (but less talked about) proposal of the WGA’s doesn’t make it - aka getting union jurisdiction over ORIGINAL content for the web - the DGA will lose its minimums and pension & health contributions once “the internet is the sole medium of distributing series programming” (as you wrote).

So you hear that DGA members? That is our common ground. That jurisdiction is crucial to all out unions survival in the coming digital age. Make sure your leaders fight for it.

Comment by Ahem... — December 14, 2007 @ 1:15 am
here’s a twist:

maybe Fabiano & Lehane are secretly in support of unions in general and the WGA in particular, and their bizarre contribution to the WGA’s cause is to provide really poor PR services to the AMPTP! way to undermine from within! in which case we should be *thanking* them for doing the craptastic job they’re doing.

right. or maybe they’re just incompetent jerks.

Comment by anonymous — December 14, 2007 @ 1:54 am
To “Glad to be not in the business”:

It’s hard for an outsider like me to know what kinds of contract terms and rates really are reasonable, and I think AMTP representatives have every right to try to drive a hard bargain and make sure any increases in writer compensation are tied to real increases in Web revenue.

And, sure, yes, the writers have a huge stake in the survival and transformation of the production system run by AMTP members. AMTP members may let a fair amount of dreck through and bury some gold, but they increase the value of TV and film writing by filtering out most of the worst dreck.

But I think one reason that fans are supporting the WGA is that we see that this strike is as much about us as it is about the WGA members. Many of us already do Web work, and we see that our employers have unrealistic ideas about how much Web content we can produce, or how many e-mails we can answer in an hour, or how many Web orders we can process per day, or how many hours per day we can be expected to work.

Web work is real work and has to be paid for with real money, period.

Right now, it looks as if the AMTP is saying that a year’s worth of Web redistribution rights has a value of only $250, compared with a $20,000 value for a year’s worth of TV rebroadcast rights. In other words, that Web work is worth 1.25% of TV work.

The AMTP also has said a 15-minute made-for-the-Web script should be worth just $1,300. If 1 minute of show time means 1 page of script, and a writer can produce a decent page (and do the administrative and marketing work associated with that page) every 4 hours, that translates into an hourly rate of about $21.67.

That’s probably less than the true minimum wage for college-educated Los Angeles and New York residents with clean criminal records, and it’s probably the equivalent of a full-time staffer earning just $10.88 per hour, which is worse than many fast food restaurant workers in big cities get paid.

And if the AMTP can do that to writers who write for glamorous shows like “The Office,” goodness knows what the employers of us fans can do to frumpy old us.

Certainly, compensation has to reflect actual revenue and actual expenses. But, as billionaires such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and George Soros will tell you, letting employers destroy middle-class workers simply to pump up executive benefits and profits to absurd, robber-baron levels is bad for everyone in the long run. Serfs who live in huts and get paid in sacks of barley do not go to movies, or buy advertisers’ products.

Comment by a spouse — December 14, 2007 @ 6:32 am
Re: NEW FALL LINE UP 2008 by TV insider

Truly hilarious! I have read and viewed many terrific and funny strike-related creations by my fellow writers, and this is one of the best. You’re all so talented out there it’s an inspiration!

Comment by WGAE Member — December 14, 2007 @ 6:42 am
Who has time to build a web site when you are counting money? What a mess this has turned out to be.

Comment by Mike — December 14, 2007 @ 7:10 am
I got a major glimpse at what the WGA is dealing with. The AMPTP never thought to also register DOT COM as a domain?! I mean, that’s such a basic move. Maybe they really don’t understand the internet.

Comment by Steelo — December 14, 2007 @ 8:07 am
You’re surprised that Democrats are capable of saying messed-up things? I could make you a list.

Comment by Reader — December 14, 2007 @ 8:16 am
I love the “working writers make more than surgeons” slam in the info box on their website that’s right next to their statement where they claim to be concerned about “working writers”!

Anyone who happens to knows a writer and a surgeon knows exactly what a fallacy this is!

Comment by Brewsterit — December 14, 2007 @ 9:19 am
Did anyone notice that the AMPTP may have changed the color on its website (a really lame quickie redo) but not on their “favicon” which comes up in the address line when you load the site? It’s still blue like the parody site.

Oh, and one comment said “phased” when I think they meant “fazed.” Or maybe they meant it in Star Trek terms…

Comment by IStruckForThisIn88 — December 14, 2007 @ 10:26 am
According to their new & improved website ™ ©, writers make more than surgeons in LA. They even claim that this is from the Labor Dept., but conveniently leave out a link to the facts.
Now I went to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics site & found that surgeons in the LA area average $170,360 per year & writers in the entertainment business average $105,760 per year.

So AMPTP is lying again.
What did they think, that none of us are smart enough to go to the Labor Dept’s. site & find out the facts!

Comment by Unindicted Co-conspirator — December 14, 2007 @ 10:56 am
I love this tidbit from their ‘dollars and sense’ page:

Revenues obtained in the initial market of release no longer cover the costs of production, much less distribution and marketing. There is no such thing as supplemental or ancillary or secondary market any longer and hasn’t been for years. All windows and media are needed for the vast majority of productions just to recoup initial costs, much less break even or make a profit.

HA!

Also, their math reminds me of a quote from ‘Naked Gun.’ “He has a 50/50 chance of survival. But there’s only a 7% chance of that.”

Comment by Writer Chico — December 14, 2007 @ 11:10 am
Maybe the fact that the AMPTP is using an old lawyers’ adage to make their point should be a clue as to where these people are coming from. Yes, because lawyers are the people we all trust the most.

Comment by Dubious Writer — December 14, 2007 @ 12:51 pm
The AMPTP needs to stop lying because that is not what they tell their shareholders and I should know, I’m one of them.

401k is a mighty thing.

Another thing the SEC doesn’t like you to lie on your reports…so what is it, AMPTP?

The AMPTP need to clean house in their executive suites and put their house in order…they know rule…the creators of the products shares the profit…if they get paid, then we all get paid.

Everybody shares the risk…as it been said before, residuals are deferred payments on future profits. But unlike the free money the Producers make (i.e stock options) we have to trust their lying numbers but unforturnately Corporate Greed has gotten so outrageous they want everything.

So everything of nothing leaves nothing, so who’s laughing now?

I hope Wall Street and the Advertisers understand a little how this thing work…without the writers, directors, actors and the BTL there is no product of value created. This is a well run collaborate process that should respect all parts…unfortunately some in the AMPTP and others forgot that.

Rupert Murdoch need to stop talking on TV and start negotiate with the writers reps…as he was one of those hardline CEOs trying to break the unions and they thought the WGA would be a easy target.

Comment by boo — December 14, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
The AMPTP web site did not miss quote the old lawyer’s adage as has been reported.

Unless I’m mistaken, the quote the AMPTP used is plagiarized from a West Wing episode where WGA writer, Aaron Sorkin had the President Bartlet character riff on the adage during a campaign speech.

Comment by MWC — December 15, 2007 @ 11:35 am

AMPTP Flacks Provide More Amusement

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